Considering the fact that people spent US$228 million on internet dating services in 2002 and the industry has been growing US$100 million per year (we should be at US$850 million-ish by now yes? I have a full time job, so don’t ask me to dig out the exact figures) — Roy Morgan interviews (which are conducted face to face and on the phone) report only 17 percent of people use/admit to using online dating sites. The actual number of tracked visits to such sites say these interviewees either live on Pluto or are lying sacks of s**t. Because 60 percent of people, really, meet other people through online dating sites and please don’t make me identify my sources. I heard it at work and I trust the mouth these figures came out of to be prett-ay spot on.
That leaves muah and my trusty friend, Sharky, appropriately named because, well, it’s a long story (he dates a lot, all disastrous) (sorry!), with a GOLDMINE of people to ridicule; mainly the idiots who post ridiculous ads. I wonder how many people post the ads versus how many people are trawlers. I’m a trawler. It gives me the freedom to chose who I divulge my fake “lolabunny573@yahoo” email address to, without the hassle of trawling through my own inbox and stumbling upon messages that rob me of what little girl-innocence I have left.
When I was a student in Wellington, I lived with a hot Brooke Burke look alike. We were cute, young, smart and developing a scurvy-like skin reaction from dating deficiency. We hit the bars but it was always the same old crowd: boy racers, poster boys for HIV and drunk farmers. At the end of the night it’d be me and her and a chicken iskander on Courtney Place.
Then we found findsomeone.co.nz and boy did we find a couple: I actually hit the jackpot once or twice. One twenty something blonde and gallant copywriter/ graphic designer took me on a date to Oriental Bay at night. He set out a large wool blanket on the beach and fed me strawberries, white chocolate & raspberry Kapiti ice cream, chocolate truffles, wine… He was funny, handsome and I can’t remember what we talked about but I do remember thinking there was something not quite right about the whole thing. I mean, we met online and exchanged a couple of emails. I guess some people met on the street, exchange a few texts on Saturday afternoon and end up in bed together sucking on each others’ bits. So why the stigma around online dating?
Maybe the answer lies in the worse: Brooke Burke-y and I were out one Friday night when I got a text from SixPackJoe. I told him to come and meet us on the dancefloor — when I saw him, panic washed over me, as though the room was suddenly flooded with water and I had to find a way out, fast. The guy was half my height. He wasn’t a midget. He was simply half my height. The first thing Brooke-y said was “Didn’t you check his height on his profile?” Come on, it’s New Zealand, ALL the guys are tall-ish. We pretended to get into the music but totally ignored him, his gaze (that was easy) but he bobbed around like a little unwanted jellyfish.
Anyway, that was four years ago. It’s time to have a little fun with this online dating business again.
Liz
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